Erik Bittner, Gateways Parent
Sweet Sounds Honoree

Thank you for your kind words about us. 

I would like to comment on both the accolades Jennifer and I have received and the nature of our involvement with Gateways over the years by way of a d’var Torah.  One thing I did as president of Gateways was to have every meeting start with a d’var prepared by a board member. Today’s event is also a Gateways meeting.   As important as it is to give children a Jewish education, it is also important that we keep learning ourselves.  So here goes-- 

A good way to begin a d’var is with a question, and my question to you is this:  who is your favorite biblical character?  Is it Moses, who led the Israelites to freedom?  Or perhaps Esther, who put herself in harm’s way to save the Jews of her generation?  Is it David, Sarah, Ruth, Aaron, Joseph, Miriam—there are so many heroes and heroines that choosing just one is difficult.  Perhaps you can narrow it down to 5 or 6.

I would like to tell you about my favorite biblical characters.  I wish I could tell you their names, but I don’t know what they are. No one does.  They are all referred to as an "ish", a man, or person.

Ish , whoever he is, appears often throughout the text, but only for a verse or two at a time.  He is important to the story, but the story is not about him. The particulars of his role differ each time, but generally it involves getting the main character back on track—either literally, or metaphorically.

There are two such Ish’s I would like to talk about.  The first Ish appears in the Joseph story. The second Ish isn’t even an actual person—he is a character in a parable told by Nathan the prophet.

The ish in the Joseph story appears shortly after Joseph’s father sends his son on an errand to check up on the brothers, who are looking after their father’s flocks.  Jacob tells Joseph to go to Shechem.  Well, his brothers aren’t there, and Joseph wanders around, not sure where to go.  A man, identified only as "Ish" comes upon Joseph and asks him what he’s looking for.  Joseph tells him he is looking for his brothers, who are tending sheep.  The man tells Joseph that they have gone to Dotan, that he overheard them saying "let us go to Dotan."  Joseph catches up to his brothers, and the rest is history.

The Ish in the Joseph story did nothing more than be in the right place at the right time to help a directionally-challenged young man.  The consequences for Joseph and the Jewish people were out of proportion to this modest assistance.  What would have happened if Joseph returned to his father, having failed to find his brothers?  The man could not be criticized if instead of guiding Joseph, he had kept his peace. We all have heard similar stories—of how a seemingly inconsequential act at the right time and place affects others in ways that could not be foreseen.  This Ish is one of my heroes.

The second Ish appears in a story the prophet Nathan tells King David.  God sends Nathan to the King to call him to account for his actions.  (The requirements of brevity and delicacy compel me not to go into what David did, but trust me, it wasn’t good.) .  Unbeknownst to David, Nathan tells him a parable in which the King himself is the defendant. When Nathan is finished telling David the circumstances of the case, he waits for David’s reaction.  Incensed at the injustice he has heard, David proclaims "that man is worthy of death!"  Nathan then stuns David with the following line:  Atah haIsh!  You are that man! 

Nathan’s parable makes David realize that difficult situations can’t be run away from.  If David thought ignoring what he created would make it go away, he was only fooling himself.  This was the lesson of the Ish in Nathan’s story.  David has to literally "man up" and manage what he has helped come to pass.

Although I have never been involved in a case that even faintly resembled King David’s, this exchange between David and Nathan has resonated with me ever since my friend Rabbi Moshe Simkovich pointed it out to me.  Jennifer and I knew our son Nathan would be a challenge—a challenge that we, like David, had to face.  Atah haIsh!  That was me, I was that Ish. 

These Anashim play important roles in two common situations.  The first is when an opportunity to make a difference presents itself to you, simply because you are in the right place at the right time.  The second is when you find yourself in a situation you did not anticipate, yet helped bring about.  Any parent can relate to the second Ish.  We get to pick their name, but pretty much everything else about who our children are is out of our hands. 

Somewhere in our early conversation about how to get an education for Nathan, I made two observations to Jen.  First, it was so much work to get an education for our son, starting a class for other kids couldn’t be that much harder, and we should go ahead and do it.  Second, if we did decide to start a class, it might take so long to get off the ground that Nathan would be too old to attend.

As it turned out, I was wrong.  Completely wrong.  On both counts.

Nathan did attend classes, right through his bar mitzvah.  And yes it was a lot more work, but it has been so rewarding. Gateways has touched so many people, and it has grown beyond our wildest expectations.  I am in complete awe of what the community has managed to put together in 10 years.

So, what is my point about biblical heroes?  Simply this:  one doesn’t have to be a Moses, Miriam, Esther, or Abraham to make a difference.  Just being an Ish or Isha works, too.  One of my Ish characters did a simple act of kindness at the right time and place and kept the story going.  The other Ish recognized that he couldn’t simply walk away from a situation he was a part of—it demanded his continued engagement, even if it was painful and hard.

Although Jennifer and I are being honored this evening, we are just an ish and isha.  Our older son was our loving accuser. When we went out into the open to meet the challenge posed by one boy, we met you, the prodigy Joseph.  What we were able to give you—the simple idea that every child deserves a Jewish education--will never be matched by what you have brought back to us—an incredibly dedicated organization which makes a huge difference in the lives of our children and their families.  Thank you.