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jerry silverman gives shout-out to gateways in letter to the editor of the jewish daily forward

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Click here to view this news story.

 

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voice at the gates: ETHAN GOTTLIEB

A GATEWAYS BAR MITZVAH STORY

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Each month, we introduce you to another "Voice at the Gates," someone whose life has been changed by Gateways' innovative programs and services. These include children with special needs in multiple Jewish learning settings across the community, their families and their educators.

Ethan was only 5 when his parents first brought him through the door of Gateways’ Sunday morning Jewish Education Program, then Etgar L’Noar. Eight years later, the last two spent on bar mitzvah preparation, the Westford, MA youngster was ready to become a bar mitzvah.

None of the key players – his parents, the Gateways staff and volunteers and certainly not Ethan himself -- would hear of letting his autism prevent him from reaching this milestone of Jewish life.

One of those players was Gateways’ Jewish Education Program Coordinator Nancy Mager, who first met Ethan when he was 8 years old. “He was a bundle of energy,” she recalls. “He didn’t sit still, and spent most of the time walking the halls.”

But what she didn’t know then “was that Ethan was learning -- on his own terms. He was picking up more than we ever dreamed.” And, when he began preparing for his bar mitzvah, Mager knew he’d need a special kind of tutor. “It took a while to locate the right one but, after a few months, I knew I’d found her.” Vicki Freidman was an experienced special educator, someone Mager knew would “get” Ethan as soon as she began working with him. “Then she’d see what he’s capable of."

“At Gateways Ethan found people who care about him, people who taught him to read Hebrew, people who prayed with him,” says his mom, Marla Richmond.

This was not to be the Gottlieb family’s first Gateways bar mitzvah however. Older son Jacob who is deaf became a bar mitzvah in 2007. But his parents knew things needed to be different for Ethan. For one thing, they decided not to have the bar mitzvah in their temple, feeling Ethan’s Gateways classroom would feel more familiar and comfortable. “It’s a place where he’s completely at home,” says his mom.

His teachers began with file folder activities that familiarized Ethan with bar mitzvah skills such as holding the Torah and wearing a kippah. To help Ethan learn how to participate in his bar mitzvah service, the method of task analysis was used to create visual supports that break down complex tasks such as putting on a tallit and dressing the Torah into sequential steps presented in words and pictures. His teachers also began taping Ethan’s bar mitzvah learning. “We had the laptop’s video-camera rolling during each lesson so we would be able to show his friends and family how much progress he’d made,” says Mager.

Viewing the videos, it became obvious that Ethan was making tremendous strides, reading prayers in both English and Hebrew. “It was more than we ever thought possible,” she adds. “And we were absolutely delighted. Now that we knew the knowledge was in there, we had to figure out a way to get him comfortable enough to lead a service in front of his friends and family.”

His teachers began adding more sitting time each week so that, by the time Ethan’s bar mitzvah day arrived, he was able to sit through the entire service. What’s more, though he was most comfortable in jeans and a T-shirt, Ethan gradually began wearing nicer and nicer clothes to class to prepare him for the sports coat, button-down shirt and khakis he would don for his bar mitzvah.

“All this was huge, but the absolutely best part for Ethan was working with Vicki,” says his mom. “From the beginning, she was attuned to what was going on with him. She knew when he could pay attention, she knew when he had to get up and move. Most of all, she knew he could do it.”

Ethan showed everyone there that day -- family, friends, Gateways faculty and students -- the fruits of his Gateways preparation, and his hard work. When he walked in, he slowly paced the room. “The look on his face showed so clearly: ‘I know all these people and I know they’re all here for me,’” says his mom.

Gradually, deliberately, Ethan led the Torah service. He led it quietly – it had been decided a microphone would be distracting for him – with Freidman and Rabbi Karen Landy by his side, along with his parents. “G-d could hear him and I could hear him,” Richmond says. “And when G-d hears you and your mom hears you, that’s what counts.”

“Everyone there was beaming at him,” Mager says. “Ethan, and each child we see through the bar/bat mitzvah process, teaches us something. All those years we did not know how much he was learning. But that day he showed us he had been listening – and learning -- all along.”

His father Bob Gottlieb also looked on with pride. “He knows these kids. He sings along. He’s happy there,” says his dad. “Gateways is a good place for him. Ethan could not have had a bar mitzvah if it weren’t for Gateways. Without Gateways, he wouldn’t have had a Jewish education at all.”

Nearly a year has gone by, and Ethan still wakes up Sunday mornings, puts on his Gateways T-shirt and tells his parents, “Time to go to Sunday school.” He also takes great pleasure in looking at the pictures of his special day. “That’s me,” he smiles, pointing to a photo of himself running up the hill, his tallis flying behind him. “That’s me.”

Click here to watch Ethan’s bar mitzvah story video!

 

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view from the gates: gateways b'nei mitzvah

by arlene remz, executive director

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It’s spring, a season of celebration. And for me, one of the most beautiful celebrations of everything we do is a Gateways student’s bar or bat mitzvah. When a Jewish child with special needs stands before family and friends proudly holding the Torah, it never fails to bring tears to my eyes.

Not too long ago (and sadly it’s still true in too many communities), many children with special needs could not hope to experience this Jewish rite of passage.

But, thanks to so many visionaries – parents, donors, educators, rabbis and our federation (Combined Jewish Philanthropies) -- that’s no longer the case in Greater Boston. Of course Gateways bar and bat mitzvahs don’t just happen. Many of these young adults have been students in our Sunday morning Jewish Education Program. They’ve also completed Gateways’ innovative two-year Bar/Bat Mitzvah Preparation Program, putting Hebrew, the prayer service and Jewish values into the hands of children with a range of abilities and disabilities. These youngsters also coalesce into a community of peers that’s truly inspiring, coming together to celebrate each other’s bar and bat mitzvahs. This community often includes their parents and siblings who connect – and share resources -- with other families living with similar challenges.

Thinking back on all the Gateways bar/bat mitzvahs I’ve been to – from the girl with cerebral palsy who used a Powerpoint presentation to “recite” the blessings, to the boy with autism who engaged in a question-and-answer with his rabbi as his d’var Torah, to the boy who’s deaf who signed his Torah reading, to the girl who’s developmentally delayed and learned to read Hebrew, thanks to Gateways’ innovative Hebrew curriculum -- each one fills me with boundless pride … and boundless hope.

I see in each of their faces a sense of belonging and what it means to be a Jew living in today’s world, which will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Wishing you all a happy, healthy spring!

Arlene

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Gateways' Seven Strategies for a Successful Seder for All Learners
Pointers for a perfect Passover from Gateways' Special Educators, Therapists & Specialists

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1. Preview. Show-and-tell a social story, a customized children's picture book designed to prepare the child for the Seder experience, reducing the chances of being overwhelmed.
2. Pre-feed. Make sure the kids eat before the Seder – preferably a protein and complex carbohydrate, nothing sugary. This will extend their patience (especially since many pre-meal traditions – horseradish, charoset and gefilte fish – are not always kid-pleasers.)
3. Program. Whether in words or pictures -- or both -- the child should have a schedule of the Seder to refer to. That way, even if they can't read the Hagaddah, they enjoy the confidence boost of being able to follow along, alone or with your help. (Click here for Gateways' printer-friendly illustrated Seder schedule)
4. Plant the Feet. Make sure a child's chair allows them to touch the floor (or a steady chair rung) to ensure support, balance and longer sitting tolerance. Try to create 90 degrees at the ankles, knees and hips, for sitting squarely at the table.
5. Prevent. Heavy silverware might prove difficult for children with grip challenges to manage and tall glasses or wine cups are spills waiting to happen. Make sure there's child-sized flat wear and a Passover sippy cup (why not decorate?).
6. Participate. Having an important role, such as carrying the towel around while everyone washes, provides movement breaks and a purpose in what can otherwise seem a grown-up occasion. Another important job: "taking care" of Baby Moses: a doll wrapped in a blanket in a woven basket awaiting rescue from the Nile.
7. Plague Play. The ever-popular plagues bag can add fun to any Seder. But fine motor difficulties can make tiny toys frustrating. Check out the plague finger puppets on the market, make your own with old socks or set up a magnetic or Velcro board, with plague symbols the children can attach. (Click here for printer-friendly plague symbols)

Click here for the full menu of Gateways' printer-friendly Passover resources.

Click here for a printer-friendly version of this article.

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voice at the gates: rachel murphy

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Each month, we introduce you to another "Voice at the Gates," someone whose life has been changed by Gateways' innovative programs and services. These include children with special needs in multiple Jewish learning settings across the community, their families and their educators.

This year the Murphy family is looking forward to celebrating the Seder in their Milford home. Which will be a huge improvement over last year.

Last year Frank and Elisa, their younger daughter Hannah, a family friend and an on-duty Jewish nurse had Seder on aluminum trays at the nurses’ station at Children’s Hospital. A few feet away, 11-year-old Rachel was attached to multiple machines all working hard to stabilize her seizures and keep her vitals strong.

Seizures are just one result of a stroke Rachel suffered at 18 months. Brain, muscle and nerve damage also confine Rachel, now 12, to a wheelchair and restrict her speech, movements and eyesight.

But despite her challenges, this is shaping up to be the year when Rachel gets to participate in her family Seder in brand new ways. Thanks to Gateways and Rachel’s DynaVox – a computerized device providing dynamic voice output for people with speech and communication impairments.

Now in her fifth year in Gateways’ Sunday morning Jewish Education Program, Rachel is able to follow along in class with her trusty DynaVox. There the user-friendly visuals her dad downloads from Gateways' online Resource Bank circumnavigate the visual and speech challenges that used to prevent her from participating in class. The device literally gives her a voice. “She’s able to connect with what she sees on the screen and what it means,” says her dad. “And that opens up infinite possibilities.”

What’s more, over and above the technology that’s allowing her to learn in new ways, just being in class on Sunday mornings presents Rachel with a new world to inhabit, says Frank. “It takes time to figure her out and see the real Rachel inside,” he adds. “Gateways teachers and teen volunteers are gifted and caring and being with her buddies gives Rachel a sense of community.” The family will also long remember the video Rachel’s Gateways classmates made for her when she was in the hospital.

“Gateways provides that key part of her Jewishness she would never otherwise have,” he adds. “Now when you show her the picture of the Sh’ma, Rachel covers her eyes. It means something to her. And that’s huge.”

Something else that means a lot to Rachel is music, specifically Jewish music.

Indeed, recognizing and responding to music “may be the most profound way she interacts with her world,” says her dad. Every Sunday morning she wakes up singing the Gateways welcome song, The Week is Here. "And now we sing Gateways songs at our holiday events. They’re very much part of our family.”

Compared to last year when she wasn’t able to sing or even know it was Passover, Rachel and her family are hoping for a joyous celebration. “Last year we were like the refugees in the Passover story,” says Murphy. “Now we pray everyone is healthy so we are free to celebrate together in our own home.”

The Murphys are ready: They’ve got a CD of Uncle Eli's Passover songs, a box o' plagues they filled with plastic cows sporting “boils” and some cheap sunglasses signifying darkness – along with the digitalized version of Gateways’ hagaddah Rachel’s dad has downloaded onto her DynaVox. (Click here for Gateways’ Seven Strategies for a Successful Seder for ALL Learners.)

“If we weren’t part of Gateways, Rachel would have a DynaVox but there would be nothing Jewish on it,” says Frank. “Now she has prayers, stories, and a hagaddah that she can understand -- pieces of the puzzle that make up the whole of her Jewish experience. It’s as if Gateways, connecting us to other families and tapping us into the reservoir of Gateways talent, is the hub with our families and temples the spokes.”

Just a few months ago, the Murphys set the date for Rachel’s bat mitzvah: May 5, 2013. “Sometimes I have to laugh at what a multi-cultural undertaking Rachel’s Jewish education is,” muses her dad. “The gentile software engineer father at the kitchen table struggling with the Indian software on Chinese hardware, all working together to make this bat mitzvah happen.”

But none of it would be possible without Gateways, Frank insists. “There would be no alef-bet, no holiday symbols, no prayers, no path to a meaningful bat mitzvah. There would just be a gaping hole in our daughter’s identity.”

“For a child with disabilities there’s a lot of brokenness and, by making Judaism accessible, Gateways brings about a wholeness for her and for us.”

 

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voice at the gates: lauri cohen

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Each month, we introduce you to another "Voice at the Gates," someone whose life has been changed by Gateways' innovative programs and services. These include children with special needs in multiple Jewish learning settings across the community, their families and their educators.

"She's been a great resource for me over the last three years," says Lauri Cohen, who teaches 3- and 4-year-olds at Temple Beth Shalom Children's Center in Needham. The "she" in question is none other than Gateways' Community Special Education Services Coordinator Sherry Grossman, a familiar face in Jewish preschools and congregational religious schools around town, where she regularly collaborates with their staffs around creating more welcoming classrooms to a wide range of learners.

"In preschools, the success of each child is directly related to the environment. The routines and physical set-up are critical," says Cohen. "Sherry always has great ideas about how to set up the classroom for everyone's success … from snack time to conversations with children. She's also helped me and my co-teacher work better as a team."

Another area where Grossman helped out was strategies for seating arrangements for circle time, a system where different learning styles are now accommodated, adds Cohen. "She pointed out that it's unreasonable to expect non-auditory learners to sit and focus for the entire time, so we offered them ways to move around when they need to."

Gateways OT Shana Krell has also played a part in the classroom helping the teachers focus on children's muscle use positioning. "We now make sure our chairs work so all the kids' feet touch the floor. We were surprised at how something that seemed so minor affected the kids' behavior and improved their learning!"

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Success + Fun in the Comfort Zone = Gateways' Purim Carnival

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It was that rare commodity: a stress-free Purim carnival. Gateways' Purim carnival attracted more than 50 families from its Jewish Education Programs, as well as several preschoolers with special needs and a few families checking out if Gateways might be the right fit for their child. Organizers planned the event to offer enough activity to create a happy buzz, but without the crowds, long lines and most importantly, chaos.

The activities were designed to provide both challenge and success for children with a variety of special needs. Visual supports and a color-coded map of activities helped them select the games and learn the rules ahead of time. The activities were also spread out into different rooms for gross motor and sensory activities, and a quiet room for children needing a break. There were also plenty of sure-fire crowd-pleasers including cotton candy, popcorn and – naturally -- hamentashen.

For Anna, the highlight of her first-ever Gateways Purim carnival was the Moon Bounce where, unlike many other carnivals, there was no line, no time limit -- and no pushing. "It's even better than the popcorn, and she loves popcorn," said her mother Vivian Glassman-Grosser. As Jamie enjoyed the carnival from her wheelchair, stopping to try her hand at adaptive bowling, big brother Tom was impressed. "You can see by the way the aides are interacting with all of them that the kids really feel comfortable here."

The second session carnival ended with a grand finale, a magic show by Gateways Sunday program alumnus Noah Bittner. It was a jubilant performance where objects disappeared and reappeared, ropes stiffened and went limp, balls changed color and shape, all before the amazed eyes of the children.

Noah also made magic happen with his fellow students, many of whom he invited up as volunteer magical assistants.

This connection between the students and the community they and their families have built over the years is part of the larger Gateways magic. "This is a place where it's guaranteed my daughter will be truly successful and feel like a leader," said Rachel Katz who brought her daughter, Genevieve, and little sister Sydra. "It's something that doesn't always happen in other venues."

The carnival's lead staff, Gateways Jewish Education Programs Coordinator Nancy Mager has a theory about why the students had such a wonderful time. "First of all, they were prepared," she says – the week before they'd worked with a social story all about Purim carnivals. "We also wanted them to start their day like they always do – in the classroom, only this time planning their carnival experience," Mager adds. "And the teen volunteers understood the goals of the day included each child feeling feel like a winner. They were able to adapt a game – often on the fly -- as needed, cheering on the children, whether they won or not." As an educator, Mager's favorite games included "Ahasuerus' Moat," featuring a floating fleet of pirate-garbed plastic ducks, and "Dig for Mishloach Manot" where carnival-goers sift through sand for plastic gems which, when added to a crown, made them a winner. As Gateways music therapist Miriam Greenbaum played the children's regular Good-bye Song on her guitar as the carnival's first session drew to a close, many of them sang along, and several jumped up to dance.

"These are all kids who are on the fringe in many ways, but at this moment," said Rachel's dad Frank Murphy, "they are all in sync. Gateways really is Rachel's way of being part of the community."

 

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talk about full circle

by sonni bendetson, program associate

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There’s a tradition at Tufts Hillel that when we say the motzi on Friday nights, everyone reaches their arm toward the center of the table and puts a hand on the challah.  Last Friday night, for the first time, several of those hands belonged to young adults with special needs.  As I looked around the room at students, professors, Hillel staff and even the university’s President connected to one another and reciting the motzi in unison, I realized that, at that moment, no one could really tell who had special needs and who did not.

That was a highlight for me, watching the vision that has lived only in my mind for quite some time come to fruition before my eyes.  I grew up with a younger brother who is hard of hearing, and it only took witnessing one teasing comment from another kid, a family friend who called my brother “ear boy” because of his hearing aids, to ignite my passion for advocating for people with special needs at a very young age.  Fortunately, in high school I found a program that provided me with a deeper understanding of the special needs population through a combination of formal education and hands-on experience.  The Gateways Sunday Program (then called Etgar L’Noar) provides a Jewish education to children with a wide range of special needs, and trains 50 to 60 teen volunteers each year to be one-to-one aides for the students.  I wrote my college essay about my experience in this program, and went on to study Child Development at Tufts University, graduating magna cum laude in 2009.

So, after graduating and exploring the desolate job market for a few months, my next move was to call Arlene Remz, Executive Director of Gateways: Access to Jewish Education, to ask if she would please let me intern in her office, hoping that I had made an impression as a teen volunteer.  Graciously she complied, and my internship quickly turned into a real job, as Program Associate.  During one of my first days on the job, I attended a meeting with a group of parents who wanted Gateways to design a Jewish education program for their young adult children with special needs, who were all about my age.  I was thinking about the role Judaism had played in my life for the past few years and realized that, like most young Jewish adults in the US, my campus Hillel had shaped my Jewish identity as a young adult, providing a forum to explore Judaism through education, socialization, volunteerism and spirituality.  Then it occurred to me that people with special needs were simply not a part of this experience, and that if I had not found a way to incorporate this population into my definition of my Jewish community since I left high school, then most other people probably hadn’t either.

The idea came barreling into my head: to design a program that incorporates fundamental elements of the Gateways Sunday Program, like using one-to-one peer aids, but to adjust everything -- content, structure, location -- to be appropriate for young adults.  The program would have to take place on a college campus, I imagined, and be designed to include young adults with special needs in existing programming at the respective Hillel with the support of undergraduate volunteers, who would also participate in a concurrent training program.  In addition to providing necessary Jewish engagement for young adults with special needs, this program would leave an impression the greater Hillel community, thereby influencing the standards of future Jewish leaders around inclusion.

 

Lucky for me, Tufts University, my alma mater, was poised and ready to take on this mission. Tufts Hillel, through their Repair the World initiative, partnered with Gateways, Boston’s central agency for Jewish special education, to pilot this innovative new program that aims to challenge -- and change -- the way we view, treat and interact with people with special needs in our community.  Now, the greater goal is to develop emerging adults who are not only aware of people with special needs, but who value and expect a community that is inclusive of all Jewish people.

With the support of Gateways and my CJP/PresenTense Fellowship, and with the partnership of Tufts Hillel, I was able to launch this brand new program last week. And, it was a huge success. Everyone in the program -- the volunteers and the young adults with special needs -- had a fabulous evening.  “The best part,” according to Marie, a bright young woman with Down Syndrome who is enrolled in the program, “was when we did the Kiddush together. The whole table and the whole room, it was like one big community and I felt part of it.”

The next installment of this pilot program is slated for March 11 at Tufts Hillel.  For more information on this or any Gateways program, please contact me, Sonni Bendetson at 617-630-9010, ext. 109 or at sonni@jgateways.org.

PS- Did I mention that my brother is going to Tufts next year?  That makes it really full circle!

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Inviting All Our Children to the Shabbat Table:

Bringing Gateways Home

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When she was a new bride, Michelle Alkon had a dream: celebrating Shabbat with her husband and their future children, complete with candles, challah and wine. But things didn't turn out as Alkon had envisioned. On Friday nights, her son, who is on the autism spectrum, would sing Happy Birthday, blow out the Shabbat candles and run off with the challah. "Pretty soon I decided a family Shabbat was just another dream I had to give up," she says.

But her son's Gateways experience gave the Newton family their Shabbat back. Seeing her son in his class reciting the blessing over the candles, Alkon realized that he could do this at home too. "I dusted off my candles and tried again," she says. "This time it meant something to him – and it worked." Cindy Kaplan has also seen the impact of her daughter's Sunday morning Gateways class at their Shabbat table. "She beams when we sing Bim Bam as we welcome Shabbat into our home," says Kaplan. "She bounces with joy as we sing the blessings and she takes pride in her role of removing the challah cover."

The value of a child with special needs making Shabbat their own is also brought home for Laurie Gershkowitz each time her son pores over his Shabbat book – a project Gateways Sunday school students created as part of his class' Shabbat unit. "The book is something he can hold in his hands, a real connection to all the Shabbat symbols, blessings and the music he loves," she says. "It reinforces what he's learning and makes Shabbat his own."

Creating their own Shabbat book is just one way Gateways educators have of conveying the magic of Shabbat, enriching and enlivening the Sabbath experience for students and their families. Others include a selection of "social stories" and "file folders activities," tasks designed to divide Shabbat rituals into clear, easy-to-understand and sequential pieces. At the end of the unit, a Temple Book prepares the students for the multiple joys – and potentially overwhelming stimulations -- of a synagogue visit.

"Our students come to Gateways to learn, but also for a rich Jewish experience each week," says Gateways' Jewish Education Program Coordinator Nancy Mager. "Since each child learns differently, we make sure ours is a multi-sensory environment. By the time they leave on a Sunday, they've sung it, heard it, tasted it, felt it and seen it – all our activities are designed to reach them at a level that is meaningful to them."

It's a philosophy that helps the students at varying ages and stages (they span the ages 4-18) engage in everything from simple recognition of the symbols to learning the blessings to the deeper meanings of Shabbat. In addition, in the bar/bat mitzvah class, a greater emphasis is placed on the Shabbat service and Torah reading.

Mager reports her teachers continually adapt and refine the materials to work for each student. An unexpected bonus: parents and educators alike are finding "Gateways' user-friendly materials help all children relate to Jewish traditions."

In addition to strengthening a child's personal relationship with Shabbat and enriching a family's Shabbat rituals, Gateways also works to build the kind of strong Jewish community that's kept Shabbat alive for generations of Jews. Snack time, for instance, naturally facilitates social interaction. "When you learn and eat with friends – a time-honored Jewish tradition -- you automatically build community," says Mager.

That's something Cindy Kaplan is learning from her daughter's Gateways experience. "What our daughter learns in the classroom with her peers -- blessings, songs, holidays and rituals -- she carries over to our home, our synagogue, and beyond," she says. "Gateways has helped our daughter learn that Judaism belongs to her, each member of her family and the larger community."